Category Archives: Lesbian Terminology

Lesbian Terminology – “Deb”



1. Someone is who a “Debbie Downer” – pessimistic and negative. Someone who brings the whole atmosphere down.

2. Can also be used to refer to someone who is annoying or someone you dislike.

If you’ve ever watched The Real L Word, then you know where this term comes from.

I don’t believe it’s used too often in East Coast lesbian slang…at least not where I’m from.

But, I think it’s safe to say – gay or straight – we all know some Debs.

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Lesbian Terminology – “Lone Star Lesbian”

Lone Star Lesbian


1. A lesbian who has only slept (or been with) one woman their whole life.

Ah, the lone star lesbian. A woman who has only been with one other woman…ever!

This concept isn’t a rarity, however. It happens within heterosexual relationships too. High school sweethearts, your first relationship has been your only relationship…there is a lone star within every orientation!

(I am a proud Gold Star/Lone Star!)

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Lesbian Terminology – “Hasbian”



1. A woman who once identified herself as a lesbian

2. A woman who had, at one time, dating other woman or had been in one or many lesbian relationships, who is now in a heterosexual relationship.

Okay, just like LUG, there is controversy.

I believe there are two forms of hasbians.

The first form is a less offensive form. These are bisexual women who have had same-sex relationships in the past and are just exploring the opposite sex. They are not disregarding the lesbian aspect of bisexuality, they are just exploring the heterosexual side of it, and many people often mislabel them and their motives. I know a couple of these cases and none of them deny their lesbianism, because they identify as bi, and we all know that bisexuality means being sexually attracted to both sexes. So really, calling these individuals hasbians could be offensive to them.

More often than not, unfortunately, this term is used to describe a more offensive form.

This offensive form is a woman who once dated other woman, once identified as a lesbian, and then began dating men. And once involved in a heterosexual relationship, denies that she was ever a lesbian and sometimes even disses homosexuality. This is the type of hasbian that so many of us lesbians have problems with. We fight so hard to make people believe that being gay isn’t a choice, and someone like this comes along and makes us seem frivolous. These types of hasbians make it seem like lesbians can be converted to heterosexuals.

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Lesbian Terminology – “LWI” and “LUI”

(FYI, while the definition has been around for, well, forever, I have not been able to discover an actual name for it. So I made these up, essentially. Booyah, bitches!)


noun, action, title (?)

Acronym – “Lesbian While Intoxicated”


noun, action, title (I don’t know, grammar sucks ass)

Acronym – “Lesbian Under the Influence”

Both have the same definition:

1. A woman who is 100% hetero when sober, but under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol finds herself making out with girls or even going further.

We all have a straight friend who has committed a LWI or a LUI. They’ve been dating this guy for years. They are perfectly happy with their heterosexuality. They like dick. The next thing you know is you’re seeing photos of them from some party and they are making out with chicks left and right. And you’re staring at them, jaw unhinged, wondering when the fuck the apocalypse is going to start.

Yup, been there, done that.

It’s known that alcohol and drugs can loosen up even the most stuck up individual. So only natural that it makes some more open about sexuality in general. We all know alcohol makes you say and do things you wouldn’t if you were sober. Many, though, have repeating LWI/LUI offenses.

There are some explanations here. One is that the alcohol and/or drugs are making them feel pretty loose and wild and they’ll do anything while intoxicated (or do anything for attention, although not always the case). The other is that maybe they are closeted, and alcohol “brings out the truth”. Another is that these are bisexual women. This is less looked into though because substances that alter your mental state are involved, and many overlook things done under the influence because of this.

Personally, I don’t know how you can make-out with a girl one night and go back to men for the rest of your life. Then again, I am a lesbian, so I guess I’ll never understand.

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Lesbian Terminology – “LUG”



1. Acronym – stands for “Lesbian Until Graduation”

2. Young, sheltered collegiate women who exemplify lesbian tendencies or who engage in queer relationships only to return to the heterosexual community after graduating with a degree.

There is actually a lot of controversy surrounding this term. To many deep within the lesbian community, LUGs are frivolous, confused hetero-chicks who just want to try something new (or make their boyfriend’s jealous). For other lesbians, it is a ridiculous term, conjured by the media in order to portray lesbian relationships as illegitimate happenings of sexual exploration – and also to strengthen the idea that gay is a choice.

Google the term (in full form, the acronym just brings up unrelated results) and you find articles from Autostraddle and AfterEllen on the subject. Also, independent bloggers will talk about the term. You can read about all the different objections people have to this term.

Even though, as a lesbian, I believe that sexual orientation is instinctual, I do believe that sexual explorations does occur, especially in college (maybe as a result of rebellion). And I can honestly say I know a few LUGs.

But then that opens up another suggestion: could LUGs be bisexual women, and instead of building up this idea, we try to disapprove that there is such a thing as bisexuality by calling them “hasbians” (another term to define in the future).

All you have to know, bitches, is what LUG means.

P.S. LUG has other variants, including “GUG” (Gay Until Graduation) and “BUG” (Bi Until Graduation).

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Lesbian Terminology – “Gaydar”



1. gay radar

2. The ability to pick out all gay individuals in a crowd

3. The ability to instantly know if someone is gay, like a 6th sense.

This is a handy little intuition to have! Gaydar relies on observation and intuition. If you have good gaydar, you can tell if someone is gay the moment you meet them. BAM! It’s like the same thing that creepy little kid from The 6th Sense has, only instead of sensing dead people, you sense gay people. Wonder what where the gaydar would rate Bruce Willis?

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Lesbian Terminology – “Gold Star Lesbian”

Gold Star Lesbian


1. A lesbian who has never slept with a male before.

I think this term is pretty much self-explanatory, bitch scouts. Never been with a man? You’re a Gold Star. And they aren’t as uncommon as you may think. In fact, I know a few. In fact, I AM ONE! Take that, bitches.

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Lesbian Terminology – “Lesbian Bed Death”

Lesbian Bed Death


1. A term to describe the absence of sex in a long term relationship.

It is a term that was coined by sociologist Pepper Schwartz, from the University of Washington, who, in her scientific research, found that lesbian couples in committed, monogamous relationships experienced a decrease in their sexual activity, and and all over loss of intimacy in their relationship.

This, ultimately, has been called a myth by many lesbians and some psychologists. Just ask a bunch of committed, monogamous lesbians. I’m sure they are having lots of sex! And, let’s not forget, that heterosexual couples go through dry spells as well.

More often, it is used as a term in a humorous situations and, in some cases, as an insult.

All in all, I believe it’s safe to say that this is one thing most lesbians fear.

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Lesbian Terminology – “Lesbian Potential”

Lesbian Potential


1. Someone, usually a woman (duh!), who has the potential to become a lesbian

2. Used to describe a woman who is giving off a lesbian “vibe” or who exhibits lesbian character traits.

Also known as “LP”, this term is used when you spot someone who could easily pass as a lesbian, or someone who you see lesbian potential in. Often time this is used in a wishful connotation, such as seeing a woman who you wish was a lesbian and claiming that they have LP.

Get it, bitches?

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Lesbian Terminology – “Pillow Queen”

Pillow Queen

A noun or an adjective (or a noun as an adjective…I hate grammar)

1. A lesbian who likes to receive sex but not reciprocate

2. A lesbian who enjoys receiving sex…a lot.

Example: My girlfriend is such a pillow queen! I can never get any.


Clarification is needed. It is common knowledge (to the general population) that there is a general separation between lesbians (femme and butches – however, us lesbians know there is a more complex way to categorize a lesbian). A pillow queen isn’t necessarily the more feminine lesbian. Anyone (including you hetero folks!) can be a pillow queen. Like getting sexed but hate giving it? You’re a pillow queen. Want your partner to do all the work and not return the favor? Well, aren’t we a pretty pillow queen! Can also be described as “selfishness”.

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