Maybe you’ve always known you were different. Strange. You didn’t quite fit in. And even when it seemed like you did, there was hesitation in letting yourself settle into the niche.
Maybe you’ve shouted too loudly against gay rights. Been overzealous. Go out of your way to make sure people understand you are not, in any way, gay. Feeling the need to compensate for something. Constantly anxious. Panicky.
Maybe you’ve slept around. Been boy crazy. Again, overzealous. Compensating for something unforeseen. Insecure. Unable to commit. Moving from one relationship to another at an alarming rate.
Or maybe you’ve never quite felt right around men. Find them strange. Not relatable. They make you nervous, and you clam up whenever one is around. You act cold towards them. You can’t trust them.
Ever been through a tomboy stage? Ever found yourself staring at another girl? Ever found yourself wondering, what if I liked girls?
Homosexuality isn’t one-dimensional. It’s multifaceted. Not every lesbian is butch. Not every lesbian feels the same way. Not every lesbian has the same story. Every human is prone to feel, at some time in their life, that they might be gay, even if it’s just a tiny, passing thought that disappears as fast as it formed. But if you are questioning your sexuality, please do not despair.
Human sexuality is a fluid, ever-changing aspect of humanity. We, as humans, are social creatures. We are also sexual creatures. In America it seems like we try to squash a healthy sex life, as if sexuality only exists for procreation and all other expressions of sexuality is wrong. I think many forget that, like every other animal, we have to go through sexual maturation, and that it is perfectly natural and healthy to explore our sexuality. To consider yourself a sexual being is not the same as being promiscuous. A healthy sex life is nothing to be ashamed of.
And along with accepting humans as sexual creatures, one must accept that human sexuality is not a cookie-cutter concept. Sexuality is subjective. There is not strictly heterosexuality and everyone else who is just wrong. Within the dome of sexuality lies heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, and everything else in between. This means that, if one become open-minded about sexuality, one must accept that all forms are right and natural.
Medical professionals, psychologists, and psychiatrists no longer view homosexuality as a disease or perversion of the mind. It is not something that can be changed. It cannot be fixed, because there is nothing to fix. These professionals have accepted that homosexuality (and all forms of sexuality) go deeper than biological happenings. There is no “gay gene.” Homosexuality, like all sexuality, is instinctual. It’s ability to be altered is like trying to change your skin color permanently, or your height. You can’t change the shape of your toes (without going to extreme measures), the way you dream, or your preference for chocolate over vanilla ice cream. Homosexuality is the same. Some people like vanilla ice cream. Other’s like rainbow sorbet.
Although many do not believe this. Those usually stand behind institutionalized religion. They believe that it’s a sin, and that’s it’s a choice. It can be changed. And if you don’t change it, then you are going to hell and no higher, Almighty being will ever be able to forgive you.
If you are questioning your sexuality, ignore everyone. Ignore those who are against homosexuality. Ignore everyone who says “It’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.” Ignore everything but your own feelings, your own emotions. There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding lesbians, but only you can tell yourself if you’re gay or not. Dig down deep into your heart and ask yourself which gender do you find yourself physically attracted to. Ask yourself if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. Ask yourself if you’re hiding your true feelings.
You have to do a lot of thinking. You have to self-evaluate. You have to take your time and come to a solid conclusion.
When you come across truth – that yes, you may very well be a lesbian – then you have to take the next step. You have to come to terms with your sexuality.