Why Being Hit On By A Woman Is Different Than Being Hit On By A Man

And, in my opinion, a thousand times better. But that’s just me.

So after consulting Emily on this, I have decided to share with you our reasons for this conclusion.

For me, and for Emily, being hit on by men leaves us feeling scummy. Often, we have the unfortunate luck of getting hit on by the creepiest men ever. I do not know why this is. Murphy’s fucking law? For us, being hit on by a woman is a much more pleasant experience.

I’d like to point out here that not every guy who will hit on a woman is a slime ball, and not every lesbian who hits on a woman is the epitome of chivalry. These conclusions are based on personal experiences.

Men who have hit on me do the creepiest things alone with a “pick up line”. I’ve had a worker at a Dunkin Donuts that I frequented after the evening shift at work tell me that when I come in is his “favorite time of night,” and then proceed to stare at me the whole time I was in there. I’ve had another Dunkin Donuts worker (at a different DD) hold my hand after giving me change at the drive through window and tell me I was lucky for only getting charged for one coffee. He even stroked my hand. Other times have included getting suddenly ass-raped at a frat party while I was clearly dancing with my girlfriend and being told I in a every sexual manner by the fry cook at my first college that I was welcome to all the pancakes he had.

Emily works in a hospital and is constantly getting hit on by men at work. Here would be a good time to insert a physical description of us both. I’m 5’2, brunette gone red-head, and femme. This means I’m always wearing makeup and I always try to look nice. Emily is 5’5, brunette, and butch. This means she has a short haircut and her attire leans more towards the masculine side (although she does wear dresses on occasions, and not against her will, I might add), and covered in tattoos. But at work she is in scrubs. Yet clearly giving off a lesbian vibe does not deter men. On the contrary, they actually try harder. She’s been told that she’s “a beautiful white woman”, is constantly being asked for her phone number, and even had a man offer to pay her cell phone bill for her!

We have both been hit on by women, as well. So we have come up with a few major differences between the two.

1. Brazenness

Men and women have different degrees of brazenness. Men are brazen because they are more likely say things like “Hey, how you doing sexy lady?” to a complete stranger walking down the street. A woman’s approach is usually more along the lines of “Hey, I don’t know if you’re gay or not, but I was justing wondering if you’d like to hang out sometime.” I’m not saying this is true for all scenarios, but of all the ones I’ve encountered, this has been the case.

2. They way you say it

Men, along with their brazenness, hit on woman with a tone that suggests ‘while yes, you are an attractive woman, I notice your attractiveness not because I want to revel in your beauty but because I want your ass naked in my bed’.

Lesbians often times hit on woman for the same reasons, but use a completely different tone. Ever heard the saying a woman knows what a woman wants?  How about a woman knows what other women want? It’s true that lesbians, being women, understand how they would want to be hit on. So they apply that tact to the women they hit on. Their tone suggests ‘wow, I think you’re beautiful and I’m going to tell you that but not because I want to get into your pants, but because I want to revel in your beauty and make you feel wonderful‘. Lesbians, understand the need to feel special, often times will hit on women with this in mind, making the women they hit on feel special.

Now, many of you may disagree with me. I’m telling you this is based off of our experiences. The men who have hit on us have used the mentioned tone, and the women who have hit on us have used a completely different tone. This isn’t always the case, though.

3. The meaning behind the words.

As stated earlier, many times when a man makes their move the women they hit on can fully comprehend their reasonings behind their actions. Sex. More often I have encountered men who’s pick up lines and attitude while hitting on me have been completely sexual in nature. You just get this vibe that everything they are saying is just to get you naked.

Hey, guess what? If a lesbian is hitting on you, she probably wants your ass naked in her bed as well. However, lesbians are able to hide these motives behind SINCERE words. We, women, try to be more honest when hitting on other women. We don’t like feeling like a piece of meat, so why would we treat prospective mates as such? Just because we may only want a one night stand doesn’t mean we’re gonna treat you purely as a sex object. There is a lot of listening to your problems and all the shit.

This has a lot to due with sex. Heterosexual sex involved two people, one person giving and one person receiving, and it happens at the same time. Both people involved in the act are trying to achieve the same goal at the same exact time. This can lead to selfishness within the sexual relationship, since pleasuring yourself happens while you pleasure your partner. Hence issues with one person finishing before the other. In homosexual sex, especially lesbian sex, it is a little more difficult for both partners to have simultaneous…completion. The basic mechanics of lesbian sex is you pleasure your partner first, and then you get pleasured. So many lesbians are constantly putting their sex partners first, because in homosexual sex you cannot just think about yourself. There is no selfishness in lesbian sex. Otherwise you’re a pillow queen.

This ultimately leads to a more efficient way to hit on a woman. Lesbians know what to say and how to say it because it’s what they want to be said to them. Make sense?

Again, this isn’t true for all situations. I’m sure there are some perfectly wonderful gentlemen out there. And I’m certain that there are creeping lesbians out there. But after combining Emily’s and mine experiences, we have to say, of all the times we’ve been hit on, we rather be hit on by women than men.

So bitches, if you’re straight and are being hit on by creepy men, maybe it’s the places you’re hanging out. If you want to attract a certain kind of man, then go where that type of man would hang out. And, bitches, if you’re a lesbian, keep on rocking that lesbian swag.

Time to weigh in, bitch scouts. What do ya’ll think? Have your experiences swayed your opinion one way or another? Or do you think we’re down right crazy here at The Lesbian Saga?


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